The Strong Father

What does God say the role and responsibilities are for a father?

Psalm 78:1-8 Reads…

“Give ear, O my people, to my law; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, that they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not set its heart aright, and whose spirit was not faithful to God.”

The author of this Psalm is unknown, and if you were to read the whole psalm you would see the main purpose is to tell a story of God’s graciousness, His goodness and faithfulness to His people even though they were not faithful to Him. Some estimate this Psalm to have been written about 720 years before Jesus’ birth, and 2700 years after this Psalm was written men are still doing and struggling with the same things. We are still struggling with being unfaithful to a faithful God. And what we need to specifically see in the first eight verses is the role and impact fathers have on their children and on the generations to come. There is a ton of stuff we can learn in these verses, but as fathers there are two truths that we need to ensure we understand. The first truth is that before men can do anything else they need to be rock solid in their faith, and their lives must be Christ centered and fully committed to Him, and secondly that our main role as a father is to teach and model to our children the truth the Bible holds, the need for Christ in their lives, and that the purpose of all people young and old is to glorify God.

Christ Centered Life

The first thing you need to consider is Verse eight. Here the Psalmist is writing about the current generation…it reads “That they…may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.” Clearly this verse describes the exact opposite of what men are to be, not only as fathers, but as one of God’s creations. Remember this Psalm is about God’s faithfulness to an unfaithful people, and here the Psalmist is saying he hopes the current generation and the generations to come are not like past generation whose father’s have continually turned their backs to God. The Psalm can’t be any clearer than when it says “…a generation that did not set its heart aright…” Before you can be a “Strong Father” What you have to ask yourself is where our heart is. You have to ask yourself if that statement could be said of you. Do you have your heart set on Christ? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If your answer is no, that is where you need to begin! I think the challenge for many men is the temptation to give ourselves a pass and say yep, I am content with where my heart is. Showing up on Sunday’s, saying some prayers with our kids and family, and having a fish on the back of our vehicle just doesn’t cut it. Those are part of having your heart right, but what God wants is that in EVERYTHING we do, our hearts are set on Him. You need to ask yourself if future generations, if your children and the children of your children, will look back and be able to see Christ shining through you. Or will they look back and say you were “stubborn and rebellious”? When your kids look at you and watch you, what do they see and think? Because one thing is certain and that is that your kids, the kids of your friends, your nieces and nephews, your grandchildren if you have them, your neighbor’s kids are all watching you. Do they think of a man that is trying to live as Christ, trying to be a light in a dark world? Do they see a man that has submitted control of his life to God? Or do they see a man that is consumed with things of the world? Do they see man that gains his self worth from his things, or his job? Do they see a man that only believes and trusts in himself, or maybe they see a man that is just on this earth living a life of existence, not committed to anything or anyone. When you are hit between the eyes with the struggles of this life, do they see a man that reaches for his Bible for strength and guidance? Do they see a man who hits his knees in prayer and relies on his faith to get him through all things? Do they see a man that relies on, and assures his family because of the promise that God is always with us and is our refuge and strong fortress in hard times? Or do they see something else? Do they see frustration and anger, or impatience, or desperation, or maybe someone that reaches for a bottle, or someone that withdraws into himself. What do they see? Before you can do anything, before you can be the husband, father, or Strong Man God wants you to be and commands you to be we need to ensure our “hearts are set right.”

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Teacher

If you were to take a poll of every man you know, and asked what is the number one priority men have as, fathers, and husbands the answer most given would probably be about being the provider for the family. It is pretty safe to say that most of men see providing for the physical needs of their families as their main job. Men do need to ensure food is on the table, a roof is over their heads, clothes on their backs, and probably a list of “needs” that their family has. And all of those things are extremely important, and are absolutely one of the roles men have. Men absolutely need to be dedicated to working hard and providing those things for their families. Hopefully you can agree that providing is your #1 priority as the leader in your home, but the mistake most men make is that they are so worried about providing for the physical needs of their families that they miss what the Bible says is the #1 thing they are to be providing. What does Psalm 78 tells us our priority should be…reread the first six verses of Psalm 78…

"Give ear, O my people, to my law; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children…”

When men say their #1 role is to provide for shelter, food, and clothing, they are missing what the main purpose of a father is. The main purpose as fathers is to be teachers to our children. What fathers are to provide to their children, before anything else, is God’s will for all creation that is revealed through His Word the Bible. The biggest need a family has is not food, or shelter, or clothing, or money, or ipods, or Wii’s….the biggest need children have is the Truth that is found in the Bible, more specifically, a child’s biggest need is to have Jesus Christ in their lives. What they need to know is that even though they may see their Dad as the rock and safe place in their life, God is the only one in their lives that can fully be relied on, that as hard as we may try, we will disappoint them and fall short, that their mothers will fall short, that everyone they ever meet will fall short, but GOD will not. God is who they can truly rely on, that through a saving faith in Jesus Christ, they will have a personal relationship with the creator of all things, the one true an living God! So think right now, who is teaching and providing that truth for your family? Who is providing Biblical Truths to your kids? Now I should take a moment to say, what I am not saying. I am not saying that your wife, that the mother of your children, is not also responsible for teaching our kids. Teaching and providing for your children is absolutely a partnership between mom and dad that must be lived out every day in your home. Teaching your kids also involves your Pastor, Deacons, Elders, Youth Pastors, ministry leaders, and church families. It is absolutely the responsibility of every follower of Jesus Christ to be teaching, modeling, and passing on Truth to all kids, and for that matter to each other. But at the end of the day, it is your responsibility as the leader in your home to ensure your kids are continuously taught and fed the truth. Unfortunately though, that is not what takes place in most homes. Too often men pass on the teaching to their wives, or the youth pastor, or maybe no one. This needs to stop! You may be sitting there thinking that is all well and good, and I agree, but I do not have the time. You are thinking there are only 24 hours in the day and I have demands that take 30 hours. But what you need to do, is you have to make the time. There is no way you can fulfill your roles, and do as God commands of you as a father unless you make the time to be the teacher your kids need.

Look at these verses….

Ephesians 6:4 … “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Proverbs 4:1…”Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding;”

Colossians 3:20…” Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”

Proverbs 3:12…”For whom the LORD loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.”

Isiah 38:19…”The father shall make known Your truth to the children.”

Proverbs 22:6…”Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:15…”Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

Deuteronomy 6:5-8…”You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

Each one of these verses requires men to be involved in the lives of their children, and requires you to spend time with them consistently. There is no way you can be uninvolved, and bring any of these verses to life in your home.

Think about whatever you have that is important to you. Maybe you are a golfer and you have a nice set of clubs, or maybe you fish and you have a favorite rod and reel…maybe you have a classic car that you restored, or maybe you only have one car and it is the only transportation you have to get to work….whatever it is that you have that has value to you….would you let your son or daughter use that “thing” if you weren’t completely sure they knew how to use it and it wouldn’t be damaged? Or would you spend time with them teaching them the ins and outs of how to properly use and care for the item? Most men would. Why is it then men are willing to let their kids grow up without taking the time to teach them what it is they need to know about God, Jesus, and the Bible. Why is it that in many instances men are willing to spend more time teaching their kids how to ride a bike than they are to teach them Biblical Truth?

If you happen to be thinking right now that you are probably average when it comes to the amount of time you spend with your kids, think about this, a recent study states that the average father spends 19 minutes a day with their kids. The study classified this time as a “secondary time”, meaning there was another activity going on during the 19 minutes. If you do the math, 19 minutes a day totals 4.82 days a year. That may be the highest quality 4.82 days of the year, but don’t you agree that 4.82 days a year is completely unacceptable?! If you have three kids, that would mean they each child would get about 6 minutes a day! There is no way for men to be the fathers God wants men to be in 19 minutes a day!

The Puritans had a very sobering view on fathering…this is what one author said…

“It is in your hands to do them the greatest kindness or cruelty in all the world: help them to know God and be saved, and you do more for them than if you helped them to be lords or princes: if you neglect their souls, and breed them in ignorance, worldliness, ungodliness, and sin, you betray them to the devil, the enemy of souls, even as truly as if you sold them to him; you seal them to be slaves to Satan; you betray them to him that will deceive them and abuse them in this life, and torment them in the next.”

Can the consequences of men not being the fathers they are commanded by God to be,

and providing what God says they are to provide, be anymore clear?

Help your children to know God so they may be saved,

or betray them to the devil to be abused in this life and tormented in the next.